Oh, everyone was going gaga today over the city’s protocol guide (or as they spell it in their doc header, protocal guide — meaning first (proto) and heat (cal), I guess), as though we would all be fined by the TransLink police if we didn’t follow the rules.
Of course, it’s the kind of thing that’s distributed all the time at international events, intended for those who have to deal with the deputy emperor of Limpopo or the viscount of Lilliput and the like. I append the city link here for those of you who feel you may be called upon to interact with people of this caliber.
But while I think it’s much fuss about nothing, here’s a game for all of us: How about if we make up rules for real and likely interactions between Vancouverites and visitors? Like: When passing a joint to an international visitor who is not familiar with the open use of illegal drugs in Vancouver, the proper etiquette is to ask if the visitor would prefer to smoke in a more private place than the BC Place opening ceremonies.
The Bureaucracy of Ceremony
The protocol guide’s very existence reveals the organizational anxiety that grips host cities before major international events. Vancouver’s bureaucrats, suddenly faced with the prospect of representing Canada to the world’s dignitaries, have done what bureaucrats do best: create a manual. The 47-page document covers everything from proper flag placement to the correct order for introducing visiting royalty, as if Olympic success depends on whether we curtsy correctly.
The guide’s spelling errors and formatting inconsistencies suggest it was rushed to completion by stressed city staff who probably haven’t met many viscounts themselves. One can imagine harried clerks googling “how to address a duke” at 2 a.m., three weeks before the opening ceremony, while the IOC breathes down their necks about readiness.
Real-World Vancouver Protocol
The disconnect between official protocol and Vancouver reality creates endless comic possibilities. While the guide instructs on proper seating arrangements for state dinners, it fails to address more pressing local concerns: How do you explain to a Saudi prince why there’s a needle exchange program next to his five-star hotel? What’s the appropriate response when a visiting dignitary asks why so many people are living in tents in the Downtown Eastside?
The guide carefully outlines flag protocols but offers no guidance on explaining why Olympic spending reached $6 billion while homeless shelters remain overcrowded. It details proper handshake etiquette but doesn’t address how to respond when international media ask about displaced low-income residents.
Olympic Anxiety and Image Management
Vancouver’s protocol obsession reflects deeper insecurities about international perception. For a city that prides itself on casual West Coast culture, the formal requirements of Olympic hosting create cognitive dissonance. We’re trying to be simultaneously laid-back and ceremonially correct, environmentally conscious and consumption-focused, inclusive and exclusive.
The guide represents one part of a massive image management exercise. City officials worry that our relaxed attitudes toward marijuana, cycling in business attire, and dogs in restaurants might seem unprofessional to international visitors accustomed to more formal protocols.
The Alternative Vancouver Welcome
Perhaps we need a parallel guide for authentic Vancouver interactions: “When offering directions to a visiting Olympic official, it’s acceptable to mention that the venue they’re seeking was built on land that used to house social services.” Or: “If a dignitary comments on Vancouver’s natural beauty, feel free to discuss how development pressures threaten that beauty.”
The real Vancouver protocol might include: Always mention TransLink delays when explaining tardiness. When discussing local cuisine, acknowledge that most servers can’t afford to eat at the restaurants where they work. If someone asks about affordable housing, a knowing laugh is appropriate before explaining the crisis.
Beyond the Pomp
International visitors will likely remember Vancouver’s stunning setting and genuine hospitality long after they’ve forgotten whether we used the correct fork at the reception. The mountains, ocean, and friendly locals make stronger impressions than protocol adherence.
